shin splints, the bully.

I've been at this running thing for a solid year now. You know that, if you've been following along (and probably even if you haven't been interested but you've read it somewhere anyway). So when I talk about shin splints, you know this is something I've been dealing with for a long, long time. Maybe you don't have shin splints, but somebody out there does, and maybe they understand, or have a new idea I haven't thought of yet.

You see, shin splints are my foe. Shin splints are my arch enemy (which may be punny given the circumstances). Shin splints do not want me to be a runner, when I really do. Shin splints are like a bully on the playground, and they will push you down in the dirt and you will get mud on your face. That's just how bullies are.

Trying to pinpoint those darn shin splints.

I thought this was resolved. I spent time and money on all that I could think of: Active Release Techniques, compression socks, KT Tape, a foam roller, a different gait. It helped a lot, because those pesky shin splints were gone. I could run! I could run more than a mile and my feet stopped feeling like lead. I've come a long way since that one mile I managed to run last January.

But I've realized lately, that my shin splints aren't really gone, they've just taken a different form. You see, before, my shin splints were anterior. When I felt them, they were on the front and outer part of my shin, and many times it felt like my feet were dragging because I just could not pick them up.

Now I have a new problem... sort of. It's still shin splints, from what I can tell, but they've relocated to a new part of my leg that is actually just as painful, if not more so (because it actually will hurt when I'm doing nothing. Posterior shin splints are the new bully on this running playground.

When I was trying to find out more about this, the best explanation was actually from the KT Tape website (which has a lot of great info on this issue if you're still not sure after reading the following):

Posterior shin splint pain is specific to the medial ankle, just behind the medial malleolus and along the lower and inner shin. Note that this location is different from anterior shin splints. Pain will be felt to the touch and generally will not exhibit swelling. The pain can range anywhere from faint and annoying to sharp and debilitating. When the condition worsens, bumps can be felt along the area and represent major inflammation and distortions in the underlying fascia.

I'm obviously not a doctor, but for me it's pretty easy to tell that this is the problem I'm having. I know it's my posterior tibialis, and the KT Tape website says: "In medical terms, posterior shin splints is known as posterior tibial tendon dysfunction, or PTTD. PTTD describes a weakening of the tibialis posterior tendon and in severe cases may result in a rupture of the tendon."

Which is obviously what any runner (or wannabe runner) wants to hear. 

I'm not really sure where to go from here, honestly. I don't know if the ART is helping, or if I am going to need to be committed to going back there two times a week. I don't know if it's my shoes, or my form, or what. But I can tell you that last night I thought I'd be able to run a couple easy miles (after having run 4 on Saturday) and my legs were not having it. I ran one. And stopped.

I think runners and other athletes face a number of issues that can make what they want to do a little harder than it needs to be. I think that's true with anything in life. There might always be some sort of bully (either real or perceived) trying to stick your face in the mud.

I guess at this point, I will rest, and ice, and go back to wearing my compression socks when I'm just sitting around my living room. I guess I will try to make myself get up early to swim (although my recent trend of waking up at 7:45 might preclude this). I'll try to be more diligent about doing yoga and some core strengthening that I really need to do. And maybe I'll even look into different shoes, just to see.

Running relates really closely to all of life. You can stop when it hurts, and you can quit, or you can figure out a way to make it work, to carry on. Running and life aren't always easy, but when you have good days, they are really good, stand-out days. You have to work hard and have goals if you want to succeed. And eventually those bullies move on, and find someone else to pick on.

Or at least I hope so.

If you've ever had an experience with posterior shin splints or posterior tibalis tendonitis, please leave me a comment. I'm curious about what has worked (or what hasn't) for you, because quitting isn't an option.

do good anyway.

Since this year got started, I have been thinking about what kind of person I am.

I am a daughter, a sister, a friend.
I am a runner, a swimmer, a dreamer.
I am a bit of a nerd, and I never want to stop learning.
I want people to be proud of me - in both my personal and professional life.
I want people to respect me.

It kind of makes me think of "The Help" - part of the story relies on Aibileen teaching the young girl in the story that she matters. "You is kind, you is smart, you is important."

We have the ability to be kind, and to use our hearts.
We have the ability to be smart, and to use our brains.
We have the ability to be important, knowing that we are unique and special in our own ways.

And we shouldn't let anyone take that away from us.

I'm realizing that I have not always been nice. I sometimes make crude remarks or poke fun at someone, without even knowing who they really are. This is not the person I want to be. I have many great relationships, and they took work, and they took me giving someone else a chance and vice versa. If I am making judgements on people I have never even met, just because of how they dress or how they act, I am not really subscribing to the one piece of faith that I truly believe in, the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do on to you.

Maybe you had resolutions this year to better yourself: to work out more, to eat better, to get enough sleep. But maybe we need to better ourselves in a different way. We need to do things that make our hearts and spirits feel good.

This also reminded me of something I have read before, called The Paradoxical Commandments. They were written by a man named Dr. Kent M. Keith, and I think he was spot on when he wrote:

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

Maybe you disagree, and that's okay. But I hope that you will try to do good, and be a good person. That is what really matters in life.

where you belong.

Over the past few days, since I have been back in Colorado after the holidays, I have been stuck between two worlds - loving my job and loving where I came from.Maybe you understand this. Maybe you packed up and moved, and you live across the country from everyone else you like. This happens.

When I was younger, I wanted nothing more than to leave my hometown, to leave Michigan, to experience something bigger and more exciting. And now that I have that, I'm not sure it's all it was cracked up to be. I miss home. I miss being able to drive to the house I grew up in for dinner, even when I was in college and didn't live there most of the time. I miss seeing my parents and our pets, and watching spring and summer grow from our porch. I miss the familiarity of Michigan. I miss the lakes.

But I'm not the only one that lives away from home. Not even close. So many people grow up and drift away from what was once their home. People travel the world, live in fancy houses, work in careers they adore. Away from their parents, away from their siblings, away from friends they have known for years. Away from their roots. They make new roots.

I always wondered how people manage this. I have lived in Colorado for three and a half years. I still don't feel content here. I love my job. My career, I would say. This is what I want to be doing. If I could have hand-picked a job, I probably couldn't have picked any better than what I am actually living right now. But I miss my friends, my sorority sisters, and my family terribly. And sometimes I consider leaving my perfect-for-me job and going home.

So I asked. How do you manage living away from your family, your friends, your original roots? The place you grew up in that you realize wasn't so bad now that you're gone. The place that you feel you could live your life in and have a family in and grow old in. How do you stay away from that...?

I got a lot of great responses from people that made me realize that I am actually not so alone after all. I'm not the only one that misses home, and I'm not the only one doing what they love in a place they don't love so much, because that is where I have to be to do what I want.

People make it work. It can work. But it's hard. It might not ever get easier. Because it's really, really hard. But with technology and transportation it's possible to stay in touch and visit and see the people you want to see.

So if your dream takes you away from home, maybe that's where you are supposed to be. And maybe it's not. But you have time to figure it out. You have time to decide where you want to be, and how you're going to get there. And you might not always like where you are, but if you like what you're doing while you're there, then you know you're on the right track.

it's okay.

It's okay if you don't know what you want to do with your life. At 18. At 25. At 30+. It's your life so you get to make up the terms and do what works best for you.

It's okay to admire the beauty around you...

It's okay if you're not happy with every single day. But don't let the bad days overshadow good things that are happening.

It's okay if you don't know where you are supposed to be. You can have a general idea (I do) and know why you think so, but usually we don't know the details of the journey until we live them. It teaches us something.

It's okay if you're not the fastest. Don't you remember the story of the tortoise and the hare? The hare is super fast but he doesn't win the race. You might not win every race or any race but no matter how slow you go, you are still doing it. So take pride in that fact and don't worry about how fast you are.

It's okay if you don't agree with what other people think. They are opinions, which means you can think your way and others can think their way. However, it is not okay to degrade someone based on their opinion. We are free to think how we want, even if it doesn't jive with anyone else's line of thinking.

It's okay if you don't agree with how people act. If you don't like it, don't do it yourself.

It's okay if you don't follow the same life path as everyone else. Who is everyone else anyway? There are a million different combinations for how to live life. Stop comparing yourself to what other people are doing and worry about yourself and what makes you happy.

It's okay to make mistakes. How else will you learn?

It's okay to turn off your computer and turn off your television and turn off your phone and do something that will really stimulate your brain. Read a book. Paint a picture. Create. Go outside and breathe the fresh air.

It's okay to have dreams and goals. It's a perfect way to strive for something.

It's okay to keep learning, everyday. Never stop learning. There's more to learn about in life and we likely won't even have time to learn about it all.

It's okay if you don't always understand. Sometimes the mystery of it all is what makes it worthwhile.

It's okay to be who you want to be, or who you think you want to be, and to change your mind if you don't like it. 

It's okay. You're okay. I'm okay.

three for three.

January 3. And 2012 has already been kind of a jerk.

Between costly car repairs, an equally costly error in Comcast billing and what seems like a broken heater in my apartment, I've been less than impressed. But I'm not going to let it ruin the whole year. There's some great stuff coming up this year, and I'm not going to let some shit in the first few days get me down, even though it has been stressful.

So far, I've gone to the gym and done something active all three days of 2012. This is a good streak. I have already ran 3 times the number of miles I did last January (which, in case you were wondering, was only 1- ha!). This is good.

Running is going to be so fun this year. Now that I know how to handle the weird things my legs sometimes do, I want to do races all the time, just because they are fun. Right now I'm signed up for a 4-race winter run series (which starts 1/14) and I'm hoping to do the January Neilson run here in town - it's a 2 mile run held on the first Saturday of the month.

I also signed up for a half marathon that I hope I will be able to do considering it is in Michigan - but it's not until fall so I have plenty of time to figure that out. I think it will be pretty cool to do the Detroit Free Press Marathon - Half because for part of it, you run into Canada! Now I just need to find another springtime half so I have something to train for in the immediate future. If anyone has any springtime suggestions, let me know.

Even though I have lots of runs (and maybe a triathlon or two) planned for 2012, I feel like so much of the year is up in the air. Unlike 2011, when I traveled to 12 different states (outside of Colorado) and one other country and had at least one plane trip each month of the year for what I called 12 months of trips, in 2012 I don't know when I'm traveling next for sure. I have a lot of places I want to go, but I need to figure out how to make it happen first!

I have some other things I want to do in the near future, like learn another language and participate in a winter reading program with the local library, and I really have no doubt that 2012 can be and will be great. With this being a leap year and being an Olympic year, I'm excited about everything that is coming up and I hope you are too! It's a good, good life.