march into march.

It's hard to believe that tomorrow it's March. It's hard to believe I've been trying to make myself a runner for two months now!

I almost hate to admit that because I haven't made much progress. I had my longest treadmill session to date on Friday, and I still didn't quite hit two miles. This may or may not be a problem, considering my first race is in less than two weeks...

But really, I have made some progress.

I have new shoes. Thanks to Jeff, my doctor (the guy who does the Active Release Techniques), I went to the local Runners Roost and met Gary, a British Olympian who ran the 5,000m event in Seoul. Jeff told me to go see Gary to assess my shoe situation, because even though I was fitted for shoes more than a year ago, it's my shoes that still seem to be causing an issue, at least in part. After trying on about 5-6 different pairs, I came home with these little beauties:

 

Asics Cumulus 12

According to Gary, the shoes that I had been wearing may have been a huge factor in my sore shins. By wearing shoes that were too stable, I was forcing my tibialis anterior to move in a way that it did not like. No wonder it hurt so badly! I won't get into too much detail, but essentially my shoes were forcing that tib anterior muscle in a different direction than where it should be.

I had to coach on Thursday night, so I didn't have a chance to really test my new shoes until Friday. I went to the gym and hopped on a treadmill and walked. And then I ran a little, and walked a little more. And you know, my shins didn't hurt.

This is a huge breakthrough for me. I mean, I actually almost got emotional on the treadmill in the middle of the gym. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I was listening to this Madonna mix, and when I had this breakthrough moment, I was listening to "Like a Prayer." Maybe it's a sign.

I have faith that I can do this. And I was proving it to myself.

While today's run didn't go quite so seamlessly, I still had a good workout and I still am optimistic. Then I came home and in my mail I found this little gem:

Apparently they think I'm a runner...

This is my card for the short run series I signed up for. I am not sure how this 5k in less than two weeks is going to go, but I am fully prepared to walk a little. I'm going to do it. Because like Yoda said, "Do, or do not. There is no try." Which leads me to the next surprise I got in the mail today...

STAR WARS COLORING BOOKS!

I obviously have the best friends, who know me all too well. Thanks, SK!

So March is a new month. March is going to bring new challenges. I'm going to continue to take charge of my health and eat better and continue to go to the gym almost every day. I follow a ton of food blogs (like this one, that today posted a recipe for Quinoa Salad with Pineapple, Broccoli and Mint) and I'm ready to try new recipes! I actually will try to post one that I made last week - it was super tasty and so easy to make. Plus, March is National Nutrition Month - embrace it!

Right now, all I'm really worried about is that 5k... since it's only 11 whole days away!

What challenges are you going to take on in March? What goals are you setting for yourself?

give me a break.

I'm not talking about Kit-Kat bars. Even though they're pretty tasty.

This weekend was not great. I had big plans - to run outside, to go out with a friend, to accomplish some things. Instead I ended up feeling grumpy and frustrated. Things don't always go as you plan. Actually, things rarely go quite the way you plan, which is important to be aware of even when it doesn't relate to running or evening plans or whatever.

I have been hell-bent on running. I want to do it. I think I can, I think I can. I'm the little engine that could. I can do it if I put my mind to it. Right?

Saturday morning I woke up and went to a run group that I heard about. I didn't join, but I went to this free session to see what it was about and join them for a run. I sat through the hour-long meeting preparing myself for this run. I thought that I'd be fine, surrounded by other people. I can do this.

But when the run started, it was clear that I was the one person there that couldn't do it. I started out okay, but one by one, people passed by me. The leader of the group, who I'm sure thought she was being helpful (she doesn't know my background and struggles; why would she?), suggested I try walking a bit, so I didn't overdo it. Walking didn't help. Slowly, the last group of women passed me and I was alone. Walking. With bombs going off in my shins. I hadn't even gone a half-mile yet.

I turned around and went back.

When I got back to my car, I cried. I cried the entire mile and a half to Target, where I convinced myself to pull it together since I couldn't go inside looking like a hot mess. But I was feeling defeated.

A little later on, I was talking to a friend of mine and explaining how frustrated I was. She said, as nicely as she could: "Maybe you're just not meant to be a runner."

Is that true? Is it possible that someone could just not be meant for running? I've read "Born to Run" so I'm not sure I want to believe that I could just be not meant to run when I want to. And how do you even confirm that? You can't ask a doctor or an expert if you are meant to run. No one can really know for sure.

Now I will say that I put on a different pair of shoes and went out and walked/jogged a loop around the church next to my apartment. It hurt. The bombs went off again. But I made myself finish it. At least the walking part.

So I'm not feeling to positive. Before you ask, or offer a suggestion, know that I've spent some time doing some research on running. I've been to a running store and gotten fitted for shoes. I bought a foam roller and some KT Tape. I see a doctor two times a week to get my muscles/nerves worked out. I ice. At this point, nothing seems to be working.

The reason I'm even more frustrated is that I set out with this as a goal on January 1. It's almost March. I signed up for a run series a few weeks ago, and the first race is on March 12. It's only a 5k, but I can't run. I don't know what to do.

This week I'm taking a break. I'm going to work out, and if my shoulder behaves I'm going to try to make it to masters swim again, but I'm not even going to allow myself on a treadmill this week. Not once. Next Sunday, fine. No running until then. And we'll see what happens.

If you have any running advice or stories, please share them - I'd love to hear them!

motivate and move.

February is a rough month. It's not always warm. The days are still short enough that it's still getting dark by 5:30. The January newness has worn off. You know. February blahs.

Lately I have been feeling blah in a lot of ways. You know? I want to stay in bed. I want to take a nap at 3 p.m.

I'm sleepy like the puppy.

I don't particularly want to clean up my kitchen or put away my laundry or whatever. But it's just me here, and it's my fault there's a mess. So it's got to be done, because if I don't do it, who else will?

That is actually an approach I need to take when looking at working out and training. If I don't do it for my body, who else will? Even better, who else can?

That means I need to join the gym again, which I did today - a different one than the one I've belonged to for two years. This one is closer to my apartment so no matter what the weather is like or how I am feeling, I don't really have an excuse not to go. No excuses.

That means that I need to try to ice and roll on a more regular schedule. (That does not include the fact that my foam roller is under my feet right now.) That means I need to buy some tennis balls so I can work on those trouble points that I have been feeling lately. Like my arch. And I probably should stretch. And maybe I should get up at 5:00 a.m. so I can go to Master's swim. You know. Those kinds of things.

I'm trying. It's not easy. And this really isn't for you so much as it is for me, because I need to remind myself to stay motivated and move. Even when I really don't want to.

How do you stay motivated when all you want to do is nothing? I'm actively seeking suggestions!