I haven't written in a while. Which means I'm kind of being a bad blogger. Which makes me think of other things I am bad at. So I will share some of them with you.
1. I am bad at not talking about myself. Fitting, right? It's my blog-party and I'll say what I want to. I have noticed this recently, that most of my stories and conversations revolve around me and my friends and my mom and my my my me me me. I want to take this moment to say, I apologize for being a self-centered 25 year old. I don't mean to talk about myself, and because I have friends who really do make it all about them, I try not to be so me-centric. Please know that even when I am talking about me, I am also listening to you.
2. I am bad at eating what I'm supposed to be eating. That being said, I am great at eating foods that are bad for me. You remember that post I made last month, confessing that I was a hot mess when I finished college. I am an embarrassment sometimes. There is a reason it has taken me as long as it has to get down to where I am now, weight-wise. I like things that taste good and not always things that are good for me.
I eat my fair share of fruits and vegetables, but I am easily swayed by dinners out and beers and homemade tortilla chips from the local farmers market. I have more friends here than I ever have (after three years of living here, that's saying something), and when they want to do something, I don't turn them down. I have fun with my friends. But I also lose my self control and my plans for a healthy dinner.
I know it's my fault. I have tried Weight Watchers. It just doesn't work well for me. I want to eat nuts and avocados. (Don't say I could because I can fit them in with points. This argument is lost on me.) A friend of mine has had great success on WW this spring, after I suggested she try it with me. I quit. She didn't. I'm jealous that she's being successful, but I know it's my fault. I don't like the program, even though I know it works for so many. I have been on it numerous times (at least 5) and it has never worked for me, because I get too obsessive about what I'm eating and what I could be eating and I stop thinking about what I should be eating.
3. I'm bad at being proud of accomplishments. Yes, I have been running. A lot. My goal for this month was 30 miles, and with a whole week left, I'm less than 3 miles away from that. But yesterday I had a bad run, and I ate a falafel pita, and I had raspberry cider. It basically doesn't matter that I ran (if you can call it that), because I made poor choices. And I'm mad at myself about it. Just so you know.
And really, I should feel a little proud. I got a PR in my 5k on Saturday by 3:30. It felt good. It didn't hurt. Yet... I'm focused on the negative. So really I'm bad at making good choices and I'm also bad at being positive.
I don't want you to feel bad for me (OK, let's be honest, you probably don't anyway). Maybe I need you to be my drill sergeant and tell me to suck it up. Maybe I need a new brain so that I'm wired to do the things I need to do instead of the things I want to do. Maybe I need to stop reading blogs about people that have had their "a-ha!" moment (like here, here and here) and get around to having my own. You know, one that actually sticks.
Maybe this comes from this blog I read this morning (which you should read, because this guy is kind of my hero). It basically says not to be complacent. Make changes. Do something different. I worry I am complacent. I worry I'm just... settling. I'm not sure if I'm bad at being content or bad at finding what will make me happy. Guess I better work on figuring that out.
What are you bad at? What have you done to change your bad habits to become a better you?
Thursday, June 23, 2011
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I don't run and I eat things I know that I shouldn't. I feel your pain, but I read your posts all the time. I'm jealous. I can barely run a mile anymore, my ankles give out and my back hurts. And maybe those are just excuses but I need to work on breathing also. It is really really hard for me, and too quick to bore me, I guess. But I always feel a sense of pride when I see my friends complete this really hard runs, and of course jealousy. I am definitely bad at a lot because I feel that I fear alot. Does that make sense? I've been trying to get over this height thing forever. And indoor rock climbing has helped. Have you ever tried it? It's a lot of fun. And has really helped. Maybe going back to dancing is the best way for me to get back into shape :) Just wanted you to know someone was listening.
ReplyDeleteI wouldnt really say you are complacent. Look at all the changes you've been making; running, farmers market excursions, trips (lots of trips!), new friends in CO. In public health we talk about readiness to change. There's different levels: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, then relapse. You are aware of changes that need to be changed and have started taking small steps. Do to much at one time and you fail and then dont try again.
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